“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”
― Mindy Kaling
The Big Sleep
This morning we slept late – very late. Suzie and I must have been more tired than we thought.
It should have been obvious how tired we were after two stressful days in the hospital. And all hospital days are stressful. There’s a reason the TripAdvisor app doesn’t have a column for hospitals alongside flights, car rental and hotels.
But when you’re full of adrenaline you feel more wired than tired. Well, the overindulgence of coffee and Dr Pepper probably didn’t help. Not together. Although, if I’d thought of it . . . Hmm. No, Yuck!
“Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
We are a design wonder. Once the adrenaline isn’t needed it takes awhile for it to burn off. Then it’s recovery time.
It can feel like a total let down after a long tension buzz. You might not have realized how tightly you were wound. It might feel like depression or like you’re on the verge of a cold.
To go from hair on fire to fuel tank empty is a long drop. It can feel terrible.
It’s A Good Thing
“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?”
― Ernest Hemingway
But it’s not terrible. It’s healing. It’s rejuvenating. It’s rebuilding.
After riding the stress roller coaster so often, I’ve learned not to be alarmed. All I have to do is take it easy this weekend.
I’ll take some walks. I’ll get some sun. I’ll eat healthier and try to kick my sugar habit that I’ve re-established with a vengeance. Stress makes a great excuse for bad behavior.
“Man is a genius when he is dreaming.”
― Akira Kurosawa
I’ll try not to make any life-changing decisions for a couple of days. Positive thinking and ninja problem solving are probably not my strong suit right now.
I’ll pray and ask for wisdom, direction and energy. I’ll work a little to keep my mind oiled and moving. I’ll try not to drive like I’m on an episode of Top Gear. I’ll try not to use my warrior growl on innocent cashiers. I’ll even try to stay calm when someone asks me if I want cheese, fries or the latest fried creation with my meal.
“Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”
― Anthony Burgess
This is not a permanent condition. The first few times I went through crisis withdrawal I thought I was coming unglued. I thought I was suddenly an emotional basket case. I felt I had no control even after things were better.
I let a few innocent friends have it over nothing. I bit a few stranger’s heads off. I wanted to make radical changes so this never happened again. It was disturbing that I wasn’t my normal calm self.
But now I know, this too shall pass.
Energy will return. Calm will prevail. Patience is not a thing of the past. Positive, innovative, creative, active thinking will return.
Not This Weekend
“There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.”
― Homer, The Odyssey
But I won’t bounce back immediately. It will take more time than I want. But I’m still me.
I can be amazing at some later date. Life will be good. Indescribably sweet moments will still occur.
In fact, they are occurring now.
“A true friend finds a way to celebrate—even in the worst moments of life—
and forces it upon you.” ― Rionna Morgan
While Suzie was in the hospital, my son, our youngest, was in the last final exam week of his college career. He’s now totally done with school, if he wants to be.
Like all of my children, I think he’s amazing. He did it all himself on scholarships. I couldn’t be prouder.
This weekend we will celebrate. We will be glad for this day and glad we are around to see it.
Good things happen after bad. Happy after sad.
Rest. Recovery. Renewal. Rebirth.
Photo: Zoo Rhinos Sleeping by the grey sky morning via Flickr