The First Thing

When trouble comes, the first thing you need is a reason – your reason to keep going, the reason to press on through pain, the source of your survival drive, your underlying purpose, the dazzling magnetic goal.

Don’t wait until you’re in a crisis to figure it out. Keep it clear and well oiled. Keep it by your bedside. Keep it polished and ready for immediate use.

I’m serious.

It Matters

More than anything else, this is the thing you’ll need. Circumstances change. Emotions come and go. You will hurry then wait. When you least expect it, things will change.

You can’t prepare for every possible problem. You don’t have enough time, money or knowledge. The unknown will remain that way right up to the last moment. You will need something you haven’t thought about.

But you will have your reason. It will keep you moving. It will not let you give up. It will stand by you and prod you forward.

What is it?

That I can’t tell you. After years of studying people in crisis I can say with confidence that not only does everyone have a different reason but your reason may change over time.

It doesn’t matter what it is. It matters that it is.

Here are some options people have used:

  1. I must rejoin my wife/parents/friend and take care of them through this.
  2. I must survive for my children. They need me.
  3. We must stop this for the next generations. They should not have to face this.
  4. I am determined to give it all I have, holding back nothing.
  5. I don’t want to grow old regretting that I didn’t try.
  6. I must write a book and share what I’ve learned.
  7. I must tell their story.
  8. I must get revenge.
  9. I must see justice done.
  10. I must serve God.
  11. I must not let hate defeat love.
  12. I must not let this happen to anyone else ever again.
  13. I must do it for my country.
  14. I must do it for the guys in my unit.
  15. I must do it for my family, brother, sister, mother, father.
  16. It is my responsibility, my duty.
  17. It’s the right thing to do.
  18. I must do it or I can’t live with myself.
  19. They cannot get away with this.
  20. I must do it because of who I am.
  21. I must do it because no one else can.

There are more reasons than these. Use your own. They work on you specifically. Others must find their own.

A warning: there are some terrible, hideous reasons. They are justifications for evil. They are easy to spot. Don’t go there.

Got it?

Pick your reasons. Cherish them. They are fire for your bones. They are strength and healing. They are courage and determination. They are bigger than you. They will last through the storm. They are bedrock.

Do you have your reasons ready? Good.

You are now stronger than you think.