I know, this could be an endless list of don’ts but that’s not what I want to talk about. Life isn’t about NO. By definition, what you don’t do is nothing. It’s the things you didn’t. Nobody ever got an award for the things they didn’t do.

However . . .

We spend a lot of time on things that don’t help us accomplish anything productive. They waste our time – our most precious commodity – our energy, our love and distract our focus.

You know the things I’m talking about, like email, or catalogs, or sitting in traffic. There are people that fall on that list. And companies. And philosophies. Some of them are even fun or addictive, like video games, sports, food . . . Well, you have your own list. You don’t really need any help from me.

But Imagine

Imagine if you could avoid a lot of the things that slow you down and tie you up. Wouldn’t it give you more time and energy? It would be like the difference between walking in knee-deep mud and hopping in your car.

It would be like having your own express lane through life, avoiding the coupon lady in front of you. Or the guy who gets in line with a pack of gum and then starts buying lottery tickets. Or the person buying the thing with no price that requires another person to check the thing, who is on break but knows a guy who knows about the thing which was on sale at the other place but we’re out of and can I speak to the manager? Perhaps I should move on.

The Point Is

Most things people ask you to do have more to do with them than with you. Your NO LIST is the place to weed these people out.

These types represent successful, wealthy clients I’ve worked for in 30 years as a freelancer. I know these people and they have money and hungry lawyers, so no names here. But they are real. Maybe you know them.

Here’s My No List:

Say No to Vampires

These people are parasites. They suck the life and energy out of you yet never quite live themselves. You always find yourself doing things for them. They steal your ideas and your energy. They use you like moss uses a tree. Vampires can also be bosses and companies. Their code is: It’s not personal. So when you leave, they shouldn’t be offended.

Flee Zombies

These people do not think and try to eat your brain. You can have the best idea ever thought but they won’t comprehend. Ideas don’t appeal to them. They like to be drones. It’s easier. They can be very cool hipsters who conform to hipster codes. Fashionistas. Politicians. They will kill you with the process, which they hold more important than people. You are more important than their warped view of the world. Be you.

Avoid Chihuahuas

These folks have small ideas but win by being combative and argumentative. They’re not interested in learning but indoctrinating. They appear harmless but they bite often and are relentless. They are territorial and protect their masters. They are debaters with no time keeper. Keep your own time.

Duck Hulks

These people appear normal but suddenly become violent and dangerous. You won’t like them when they’re angry. And you never know when they might be. If you have to replace drywall a lot, it might be a clue. It doesn’t matter if they had a rough childhood or PTSD or low blood sugar or their wife cheated on them. These people can turn you into a drooling vegetable with a few punches. And they control everyone around them with threats of random violence. Don’t be around.

Put The Lid On Mad Hatters

These are maddening crazy-makers. They are off their meds and will put you on them. You will spend your time trying to calm them down, pick them up or dance around them. Expectations change by the moment. They are un-please-able. Chemicals are often involved. You will get blamed by them for their madness.

This is a partial list. There are endless bad examples. But there are also good.

There are generous, encouraging, helpful, supportive, happy, successful people out there. You can find them. They will be obvious by contrast. They aren’t perfect but you won’t care.

These people will add to your life. They will listen. They will respect. You will find yourself becoming a better you around them. And they won’t mind.

But to find them, you have to say NO to someone.

It’s hard. But not impossible. It takes courage and faith. But the life you dream about could be on the other side of the word NO.

Say it.

So, what have you said no to? How did it turn out?

 

Photo by _gee_ via Flickr