I’m a middle child with an older brother and younger sister. It is annoying to me that I fall so neatly into what a middle child typically is. I think I’m different, unique even, and I really am. But all too often I’m merely typical.
I am a peace maker and compromiser. I try to get everyone to get along and agree with each other. The only way a middle child can get any peace is to make it.
But I’m not a middle child anymore. I haven’t been for a long time. I’m a husband, father, engineer, producer, writer, entrepreneur, musician among other things. That means I’m a leader whether I want to be or not – and it’s mostly not.
Out in the big, wide world I’ve had to learn to do a few things I’d prefer not to do. I’d rather be left alone. I’d rather everyone get along. But in the end, if you let them, people will use you like a paper towel and trash you.
So, here’s my lesson for today. I was reminded this morning at Starbucks by a truly obnoxious woman. It is oddly encouraging.
Leave the trouble makers behind.
I simply don’t have the time or means to cajole everyone to get along. We aren’t all at the same place at the same time. It’s not my job to help people who don’t want help. They get that choice.
I know this seems counterintuitive for a Christian. We’re supposed to love everyone. Go the extra mile. Turn the other cheek. God is the God of second chances. We all make mistakes. There’s always hope for anyone. But don’t fall into the trap of thinking that means we all have to get along no matter what. Or that you have to wreck your life to please the toxic people of the world.
Need an example?
When Jesus sent his disciples out in pairs to share His message, He told them to leave if they were not wanted. In fact, He said they should go to the edge of town and make a ceremony of it by shaking the dust off their feet. If people rejected the message, their fate was in their own hands. They have a choice. They have free will.
There’s just too much work to be done to waste time on people who don’t want you and are determined to drag you down. Someone out there is waiting for what you have to offer. Life is short. Do what good you can.
That doesn’t mean you give up easily. That doesn’t mean anyone is beyond redemption. But it’s not your job to tip-toe around people who are determined to make the world a miserable place. It doesn’t mean you are a failure or that you don’t love them enough. It doesn’t mean you are their last, best chance.
After you leave, God is still there. I think He can handle it.
Their choice is beyond your control. You have your own choice. You do control that.
Moving forward always means leaving something behind.
Photo by valeuf via Flickr
